Saving and Gaining Face

After you arrive at your Thai hotel. You are hot, tired, sweaty and are looking forward to a relaxing and invigorating shower. You dump your bags, take off your clothes, and head for bathroom. You turn on the shower -- and nothing happens. You check all the controls, but it simply doesn't work. You call room service, wait for twenty minutes, and no one comes. You put on your clothes and go down to reception.There is the smiling receptionist. 

Now the thing that the Westerner ( Farang ) will do is to complain, annoyed if necessary."I have paid a lot of money for this room, and I expect every thing to work properly, and a quick service, is that too much to expect"? In Thailand, an  attitude like this will get you nowhere.

Unless the staff are used to Westerners, you will get an embarrassed smile and probably no action. 

There are two factors at work here. One is that Thai society is highly non-confrontational . It is rude and a sign of weakness to show anger. The only time a Thai shows their anger is when they have lost control over their feelings and that can be sometimes dangerous, and their actions are unpredictable. Thais can find it hard to accept that Westerners can openly show their anger while still being outwardly in control. So the angry tourists you see are  potentially harmful beasts, and are therefore treated to a smile and little else.

So, if you want a peaceful life, never show anger in front of Thais, which is  easier said than done, but well worth the effort, and good for your self-discipline.

The other factor here is saving face . By complaining, you are making the hotel staff, lose face. In a losing face situation, most Thais will back away and avoid contact as much as possible. It is better to express yourself in a way that allows them to gain face. So, in the case of the faulty shower, if you want the best response, say something like "Oh dear, I am so hot and tired, desperate for a shower, but I can't get it to work. It is probably just that I am a silly Western ( Farang even better ), but can someone help me?" 

The response to this approach will be almost immediate and helpful.

By asking for help and putting yourself down, you have given them a chance to gain face by helping you, and they will almost always be delighted to do whatever they can.
If approached the right way, Thais are the most helpful and friendly people I have ever met. If you ignore their cultural ways then you may regret it!